Saturday, October 04, 2014

Blogs, energy and the passage of time

When I started this journey I decided I would write up my progress each day. As I said in a comment to my previous blog I didn't really expect I'd succeed in getting through the first week. When / if I failed yet again I wanted a record of how I failed so I could look back on it next time and plan better. Things have changed now. Come midnight tonight I will be 4 weeks smoke free. I really feel I can do it this time if I can overcome the tiredness.

I'm putting the success down to two things. The Champix and the blogs this site. The Champix bit is self explanatory, "the blogs on this site" isn't quite so obvious, my blogs, your blogs, your comments on my blogs and my comments on your blogs all help me. I don't really know you beyond what you say here about your progress along the same journey as I'm taking, we're like a band of Anti-Argonauts avoiding being fleeced by the golden leaf.

But the blog is also telling me something I didn't expect to happen has happened. This tiredness is both on-going and starting to get me down. If its from Champix I'm in a bad place, I can't see myself winning without it. If it's not the Champix I'm starting to get really worried. As she's had the virus I had a few days behind me, Tessa is my miner's canary. If she's got the exhaustion too this weekend I can put it down to the virus too. Of course, if it doesn't clear up soon it will open its own difficulties - for both of us.

[[Update: 19 October
The tiredness did eventually go away. I'm getting a few broken nights of sleep, , but at least when I'm tried the next day I know what to blame it on.]]

An earlier version of this posting was originally published on Quit line on Friday 3 October 2014.

Stats Update: 28 days smoke free

Smoke free days: 28 days
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 840
Total savings: $753.20

Another quiet day. Didn't want to get up this morning so managed to sleep on and off until nearly 10. Then I was up for a couple of hours and then went back to bed for nearly 4 hours sleep.

I feel OK now, but too much sleep is going on here.

An earlier version of this posting was originally published on Quit line on Saturday 4 October 2014.

Thursday, October 02, 2014

Birthday Dinner

I had another rough day, exhaustion and needed to sleep for much of the
day. I'm really looking forward to this symptom of whatever going away.

Today is Tessa's birthday and we went out for dinner at Tony's Henderson
(Her choice). She asked me a couple of times if I wanted to go for a
cigarette, I just said "No". After the main she asked again and this
time I just looked at her.

Tessa: "Why are you looking at me like that?"
Me: continued looking
T: "Have you given up or something?"
Me: "Yes"
T: looks in disbelief "When?"
Me: "4 weeks ago"
T: "Why?"
Me: "I don't want to die"
T: "Why didn't you tell me?"
Me: For the first couple of days I didn't want any additional stress.
Since then I've been waiting for you to realise.

It's a relief that it's finally out of the bag as I'd been getting
rather bored of the "say nothing" game.

It's a relief finally being out of the closet with respect to my

An earlier version of this posting was originally published on Quit line on Thursday 2 October 2014.

Wednesday, October 01, 2014

Welcome Stoptoberists.

Just wanted to welcome all you Quit-line quitters to the Given Up Club.

The Rules Are:
1. You Can Do It!
2. Not One Puff Ever!
3. One Day At A Time!

Now on with my daily report. If you're new here and not used to my blogging, don't read too much into the health stuff in my writings, my nearest and dearest has never been a smoker and is getting most of the same, we suspect a virus and no we haven't been to west Africa.

My 26th smoke free day's been characterised by acid stomach, burping and methane production elsewhere. Coming up to lunchtime I felt quite bad so
I swapped around and had a vegetarian lunch from the Indian food place in the Rialto then ham + salad rolls for dinner.

After I'd finished it occurred to me that Indian might not have been the best choice for an acid stomach, but it wasn't too spicy. Mind you, when Tessa asks me how spicy Asian food is, I often need to say "Very mild, probably too spicy for you" ... she's the first to admit that she's a "Wuss". I've observed since giving up that I do notice chili a little more, but am still fairly tolerant. To be fair, she can woof down cupcakes that are 1000 times sweeter than I can enjoy.

It's not even 10pm and I'm fading fast. Still quite acid, but hopefully
I'll drop off to sleep fairly quickly.

Night all.

An earlier version of this posting was originally published on Quit line on Wednesday 1 October September 2014.

Half-week 28th September to 1 October

[[October 16 Note: This was a fairly quiet week on my smoke free blogging front. I've decided to combine the days into a single post for Blogspot]]

A quiet weekend's been and gone

My fourth smoke-free weekend is ending. Each week that goes by is easier.

I'm still very low energy and have no idea if it's he Champix, the giving up, or this silly 'flu thing. Tessa has the 'flu thing that I had at the start of the week and has spent most of the weekend asleep, so I'm happy to blame that for now.

I'm now on my longest smoke-free since I first started and I really believe that this time I can win. I'm hoping that the exhaustion and the Champix aren't related. I have no idea if I still need the stuff, but I don't want to risk finding out.

I have a social event Monday evening. Luckily it's a smoke free event but it will be my first alcohol since early July. I'm not expecting any negatives but it will be interesting to observe how I react.

An earlier version of this posting was originally published on Quit line on Sunday 28 September 2014.

Coming out at work

I've let my workmates know that I'm on my 24th day of giving up. I explained that I said nothing earlier because I was trying to minimise stress. I also used it as a chance to explain about the possible side effects of Champix.

They took it well, but ironically in the late morning I got the strongest cravings I've had a work since week 1. Successfully resisted, of course.

In retrospect doing this today when I'm going out for drinks tonight for the first time since July probably wasn't the greatest tactical move but it's nothing I can't overcome.

An earlier version of this posting was originally published on Quit line on Wednesday 29 September 2014.

Alcohologram -- Reality through wine tinted glasses

I survived my first evening with alcohol since a couple of months before giving up tobacco. I wasn't exposed to smoke during the event, but afterwards walking up Albert Street to the bus there were a few people smoking on the street. Not long ago I would have been one of them and it definitely set off triggers a few times.

One of the strongest triggers was when I passed the Manhattan building where I lived for a few months in 2002 or early 2003 .... and there's a convenience store right there. Luckily I was able to stay true to my quest for a bus and Veered neither to the right nor to the left but went like Peter Dunne, straight down the centre"

Another test passed. Now I know I can drink and not smoke. Also it was good catching up with some people I haven't seen in several months, including someone I haven't seen since the mid '70s. I didn't even know he was associated with that group.

An earlier version of this posting was originally published on Quit line on Tuesday 30 September 2014.


Got really stressed at work today (work related). Rewriting some procedural code as SQL was slowly but surely doing my head in. I needed to cut out for a walk and ended up circumnavigating the old Newmarket Domain (The block that contains Lumsden Green and the pool) to clear my mind.

Yes, cigarettes were on my mind, but not as a strong urge. I did toy with the idea of smoking "Just one" but resisted. When I'm looking at myself "from a distance" it's amazing how cunning and duplicitous I can be in my dealings with myself.

I rewarded myself with a little gift. Starting today it's been possible to register .nz instead of, etc. I registered to match my surname. I'm not sure what I'll do with it yet, but I'm sure I'll think of something.

An earlier version of this posting was originally published on Quit line on Wednesday 1 Octoer 2014.

Just oneism

Now I'm on my 26th day I think my brain has finally accepted that I'm determined not to go back to smoking so the full frontal attack has largely gone away.

I've noticed recently that it keeps throwing "I'll just have one" more and more at me. Intellectually I know that this would be a really dumb move and impossible to keep to so there's no way I'd risk it, but it's interesting how it keeps slipping into my consciousness.

Been a while since I did a stats update:
Smoke free days: 25 days
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 750
Total savings: $672.50

An earlier version of this posting was originally published on Quit line on Wednesday 1 October 2014.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

How Wifi Wifie got her name and other stories

I was asked in a comment on a previous post (Quit-line original) why I call Tessa "WIFI Wifie" on and the answer is "I don't", except on Quit-line. I'm already using my real given name and the first letter of my surname. If I used her given name as well we'd be easily identifiable. Obviously this is now published on my public blog but at least initially I was not wanting to unambiguously identify myself. Especially as the image I displayed on my Quit line profile really is me from a couple of years back. My hair is longer now.

I do like her and as they all sound too curt, I didn't want to just say something purely descriptive like "The wife", "My former fiancée" or "She who must be appeased with the hearts of young children"

"Wifie" was simply intended as an affectionate diminutive for "wife". I'll admit that I didn't do my homework properly there as that's an Americanism. The term doesn't exist as such in standard English but in Geordie it's derogatory (ref:
Again it was a bit curt and even without the research seemed almost a put-down "widdle iddle wifie", so I wanted a little something extra.

Eventually by an in-depth process of looking up slightly to the right of my computerat a small plastic box with aerials and flashing lights I came up with WIFI. That's too prosaic, so I needed a better justification.

"WIFI" because:
  1. If you search Google for Wifie, it will suggest "wifi"
  2. It's nicely alliterative.
  3. We each have Android phones and tablets and share an iPad we won. I like my keyboard and desktop, she prefers using the tablets via WIFI

An earlier version of this posting was originally published on Quit line on Sunday 28 September 2014.