Last night one of my Quit-line supporters from my early days through to today since announced that he was leaving the quit-line blogs. As he was doing this because he was feeling bad about something that happened it caused considerable discussion. Included in this were some people saying that if he left they would too. While I had problems with my supporter's departure I've been pondering the other people's reaction.
Many of my supporters from my early days on quit-line, and others I supported in
turn have left over the past 8 months. Some left because they relapsed, some
because they no longer saw the blogs as constructive for their own
personal journey to being smoke free, some left in a blaze of (in)glory and some just vanished.
Over time nearly all of us go away. Quit-line is a transitory place.
Some time back I realised that I was too committed to those blogs for
my continued healing and consciously reduced my involvement. I blog less there and more importantly I read less there. Before I cut back I usually read every
blog posted on the site and commented on most. Now I have a small list of bloggers I follow and support and read
everything they write, but far less often read much of the All bloggers
pages. Realistically within the Supported group of bloggers there's a
core group of around a dozen who I feel close enough to and who write
often enough to keep me committed.
As I'm very infrequently replacing membership in this core group, it
means that as these people graduate from the quit-line blogs the relevance of
the blogs to me is slowly but steadily dropping. I see this as a positive move towards not needing quit-line.
So, is there any single person who, if they left, I'd leave too?
Eventually I'll reach the point in my quit where I'll no longer feel an
advantage to being there. It's possible that I'll be at this point for a
while before I consciously realise I've reached it, it may even be the departure of
another blogger that makes me realise I've reached that point, but until
then I can't think why I should feel a need to leave because someone
else decided they should.
I hope my friends stay and contribute for as long as it helps their
quits, only leaving once it is no longer good for their personal progress. They shouldn't leave for me and shouldn't do it for any other blogger.