Tuesday, September 09, 2014

Cravings Tuesday, Day 4

Cravings were less today, but still bad at times.

I'm still being very careful to avoid tobacco pushers. I feel less tempted to buy a packet, but it is definitely still quite strongly there, so avoiding their shops is a help.

About 11:30 AM I started to get strong cravings. By about 11:50 I decided I needed to go and get some food as a distraction. On my way to lunch I noticed several women smoking in Newmarket's Olympic Memorial Park. Weirdly I didn't notice any men. Yesterday I noticed the man at the panel beaters having a quick cigarette. He wasn't there today.

Today for lunch I grabbed a burger and chips from the Newmarket branch of Eden Kebabs then ate them in the memorial park. While I was there I watched a woman from Maori TV interview a man whose jacket said he was from the Maori sports foundation; it kept me from ogling the female smokers (Focussing on their cigarettes).

Going home was much easier tonight. I didn't get the shakes and I didn't have a strong compulsion to stop at the petrol station for a packet. My munchies weren't as bad, but I still have snacked quite a bit.

I will admit that if there had been a packet here, I would have smoked one(*) so I still don't trust myself, but I know I can avoid buying any and I don't intend being with any smokers for quite some time. Ex smokers are like alcoholics one drink and they are back into it, just one puff and we are hooked again.

Weirdly enough, I have effectively given up drinking ... I might have a couple of glasses of wine every few months ... but wasn't hooked, so it was easy. Smoking though ... a whole different story.

(*) "One, just one" ... how easy it is for us to lie to ourselves. Luckily I don't believe a word of it. That "Just one" is how I've gone back to smoking in the past. That plus how good that first cigarette feels. The trouble is it's a trap and this time I'm not falling into the trap.

An earlier version of this posting was originally published on Quit line on Tuesday 9 September 2014.

No comments: